THE CAT... AND HIS BOX

I love my cat. I do. What's not to love? He's a 22 pound orange guy with the personality of a really annoying friendly dog. You know the type... the ones that stare at you all sweet and puppy dog-ish until you to pet them and then they proceed to neurotically lick your hand because all dogs as if they have OCD and can't stop? Oh. The love.

What I don't love? The damn cat box. I wonder if I can teach him, in his old age to use the toilet? He is pretty smart you know. I might make that my mission... at least until the weekend when there is something better to do.

Because the cat box is disgusting. And I, of course am in charge of it now because Dr. Yeah, aka husband was stripped of his cat shit cleaning duties. Lucky him, unlucky me. (p.s. this reminds me of another story of a nosy bitch who felt it incumbent to talk about me and my marriage to her ugly husband in front of me, as if I weren't standing two feet away from her ugly face... I'll tell that one later).

See, Dr. Yeah thinks it's perfectly normal (and apparently sanitary) to clean the cat box once a week instead of every day. And that is not ok. It would smell so bad that every dog in the neighborhood would be scratching at the garage door in search of the doggy delicatessen known as 'kitty roca'.

But I thought it would be a good life lesson for Dr. Yeah. Life lesson: clean the cat box every day because if you don't no one is going to do it for you and our house will smell like cat shit.

It would smell so bad that on more than one occassion I considered quarrantining the downstairs just to get away from it.

It would smell so bad that my mother would purposely go downstairs and dramatically roll her eyes and wave her hands around as if she were swatting a bee and AS IF I don't know it smells like cat shit down there. Yes, I do realize that it smells like shit. I'm trying to teach Dr. Yeah a life lesson here... Life lesson! So much for that life lesson.

Dr. Yeah's life lesson for wife: if I wait long enough. And then wait longer, and perhaps a smidge longer... wife will eventually clean the box out for me AND subsequently, after a good holler, take over duties completely.

Dr. Yeah - 1, wife - 0. Touche.

xoxo, Mae